


Yearning

by lobstergirl



Series: Of Darkness and Silence [9]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Kylux - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:10:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7139525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lobstergirl/pseuds/lobstergirl





	Yearning

Zak slowly raises his head. Blood runs from his nose and his right cheekbone will sport a lovely shade of purple tomorrow. The small crowd of onlookers that has gathered around them falls silent.

The huge man touches his nose and studies his blood-smeared fingertips for a moment, as if debating with himself what to do next. Then the unthinkable happens. He shrugs and wipes his hand on his trouser leg.

“Good fight, Hux,” he says. “If you’re free tomorrow afternoon, maybe you can teach me that little trick of yours.” He offers a small grin. “Perhaps we can even go for a full round. Be nice to have a sparring partner who can hold his own against me.”

A murmur goes through the audience. Hux knows he has reached a milestone but he doesn’t press it.

“You know where to find me.”

Zak gives him a curt nod and strolls off. His entourage is quick to follow.

Hux looks after him for a moment, then turns and walks into the opposite direction. He doesn’t stop to exchange greetings or join a conversation. Although people have begun speaking to him he’s not on handshaking terms with anybody and he never gets invited for a chat. He doesn’t blame them, and he wouldn't know what to say anyway. At least they’ve started giving him proper answers when he asks them a question instead of snorting something unintelligible or turning their backs on him when they see him coming.

Rising up the ranks has taught him how to deal with hostility in all of its subtle and not-so-subtle forms, and now that he’s been stripped off his rank and his privileges he deals with it just like he’s always done. He grits his teeth and embraces the suck.

The suck is very hard during his first two weeks on D’Qar. He isn’t allowed anywhere without a guard and a droid is assigned to watch over him while he sleeps, even when he uses the facilities.

It gets a little easier after Skywalker agrees to see him. Luke Skywalker is the last living Jedi Master, a middle-aged man of medium height with huge blue eyes that are full of sadness. His mindprobe is gentle and Hux drops his guards as soon as he feels Skywalker’s presence enter his consciousness. He has nothing to hide anymore and so he lets him see all. The moment Skywalker taps into his most precious memories, his eyes widen and he pulls back.

“Thank you,” he softly says and turns to his sister. “He speaks the truth, Leia. You have nothing to fear from him.”

After that, his new life begins. He offers everything he has – his knowledge, his training, his insight. He talks and draws and completes data, he explains strategy, alliances and distribution of power. In short, he commits utter and irrevocable high treason.

He doesn’t ask for much in return. He asks for a place to live, he asks for the means to provide for himself and he asks for the right to use the public shelter in case they fall under attack. He’s given a small house, barely more than a hut, but it suits him just fine. It comes with basic equipment, a small patch of land that looks as if it was a garden once and it has a stunning view over the lake. He acquires a household droid, repairs what needs to be repaired and starts researching the local flora. He’s not used to having so much green around him and he’s fascinated by the wealth of colours he finds wherever he goes.

And he puts himself through merciless daily workout routines. There’s an abundance of young hotshots on the Resistance base who are professional and focussed and dedicated to the cause while they're on duty. As soon as they get off duty, however, they do what young hotshots with too much energy tend to do: pick fights and start brawls. He tries to avoid them as best he can but when he’s tripped over one accidentally outstretched foot too many, he decides enough is enough. He has not always been a general and remembers how to fight dirty. He is challenged less often when more and more of his challengers land on their backsides and it may well be that today’s confrontation with Zak marks a turning point. He sure hopes so.

 

His house is empty except for his droid. He inspects the work it has done during his absence and when he’s satisfied, he orders it to shut down for the night.

Now begins the part of the day he dreads the most. Another long, lonely night lies ahead of him. Kylo’s gone. He’s left with his uncle to unlearn what Snoke has taught him, to find his way back to the path he has once walked with Skywalker. It was the logical thing to do and Hux has urged him to accept his uncle’s outstretched hand. They cannot walk this part of the road together.

But he misses him. He misses him so much it hurts, and it frightens him. Sometimes, when he’s not too tired, he lets his mind wander and takes himself in hand, conjuring up memories of Kylo’s lips that are so soft and welcoming, his hair that he loves to touch and play with, his strong, calloused hands, his beautifully veined cock and his tight, hot arse. He never lasts long and it always leaves him feeling lonelier than before.

It’s during these vulnerable moments that he wonders if he has done the right thing. Who can tell which side is right and which side is wrong? Both sides pursue their vision of a better world with all they deem necessary. Both sides have killed. The Resistance fighters don’t exactly set their weapons to stun when they launch their attacks. They shoot to kill as much as the First Order troopers. But the Resistance doesn’t wipe out entire planets just to prove a point. This is something he can never undo, no matter how hard he works to prevent future such abominations.

He turns to lie on his side, wraps his arms around himself and pulls his legs up.

******

The next morning, he wakes up to somebody hammering on his front door. He’s up and alert within seconds, activates the droid with a snap of his fingers and opens the door.

“Yes?”

The young man before him flinches and averts his eyes as if he expects to be turned to stone. He has a lot to learn yet.

“We have a situation.” The lad’s voice is surprisingly deep for someone so skinny and nervous.

“And?”

“You are expected at unit nineteen-oh-five. Sir.”

Nineteen-oh-five. The command centre.

“Ready in three,” he says. He doesn’t bother closing the door. Nobody here ever crosses his threshold.

 

He enters the command room and walks straight to the main console where Majors Ematt and Brance are engaged in a heated discussion with two Resistance officers he doesn’t recognise. Admiral Statura looks up from whatever he’s reading and waves him over.

“There’s been an assassination attempt on Snoke’s life,” he says without preamble. “As of now, it is uncertain whether or not he has survived. We have recorded bits and pieces of the emergency transmissions but I’m afraid we can’t make any sense of them.” He hands his reader over to Hux. “Does this mean anything to you?”

Hux quickly scrolls through the text fragments.

“It certainly does.”

He walks them through the retrieved bits, explains the structure that lies behind the code and sketches the most likely scenarios. When he orders the engineers to enter a string of data, the voices around him die down. He looks up from the model he’s been studying, wondering if he has overstepped a line. But that’s not it.

General Organa has arrived and she is not alone. She is flanked by her brother and a slim young woman but Hux’ eyes immediately zoom in on the fourth member of the small party. 

Kylo towers above the others and he looks happier and healthier than Hux has ever seen him. He’s wearing dark trousers under a simple white tunic and a dark vest, his shoulders are broader than Hux remembers and he’s tanned a little. When their eyes meet, his face lights up. His whole _body_ lights up. It’s like somebody has lit a torch inside him. Kylo has never been good at hiding his emotions, Hux thinks, it’s one of the reasons he used to wear that horrible mask.

Kylo’s eyes glide over his body, slowly, hungrily, and Hux’ skin begins to tingle. His iron self-control threatens to leave him and he grabs it and forces it back into obedience before it escapes altogether. He hopes he isn’t as obvious as Kylo but the startled expressions on the faces of Skywalker, Organa and the young woman tell him otherwise. _Bugger_.

“General Organa,” Statura says, oblivious to Hux’ embarrassment. “I’m sure word has reached you by now.”

Organa nods and joins them. The others follow her slowly, keeping their distance until she gestures for them to come closer.

“Bring us up to speed, Admiral,” she says and holds out her hand for the reader. Her eyes never leave the device while Statura summarises their findings but Hux knows she doesn’t miss a single word that is spoken.

When Statura has finished, Organa looks up at Hux.

“How would you assess the situation, General?”

For a moment, Hux is stunned. Has she just called him _General_ in front of everybody? He meets her eyes but can’t read the expression in them and so he turns his attention to the issue at hand, starts the holographic simulation and begins. At some point, Kylo joins him. Their combined knowledge outlines a strategy that earns them a few appreciative nods and when they step back to make room for the senior officers, Kylo’s knuckles brush Hux’ hand, as if by accident.

This time Hux doesn’t even try to suppress his smile. He hooks his little finger around Kylo’s like he’s done so many times before. Only now, they don’t have to hide any longer.

Kylo’s finger tightens around his.

His smile widens.

 


End file.
